About Me (And This Beautiful Disaster)

"Still tripping. Still forgiven. Still showing up."

--- Hi. I'm Rena LeeAnn, and I own a coffee shop called "The Hot Mess." The irony is not lost on me. Here's what you need to know: I spill things. A lot of things. On a lot of people. I trip over air, painted lines, and my own good intentions. I wave enthusiastically at people who weren't waving at me. I say "you too!" when someone tells me to enjoy my coffee. I once got stuck in a revolving door for five minutes while my regulars watched from the window. This is my life. Welcome to it. ## The Coffee Shop The Hot Mess is a small independent coffee shop that probably shouldn't still be in business, given my track record with espresso machines and gravity. But somehow, it is. The furniture is mismatched (every piece a thrift store rescue with a story). The espresso machine is named Betsy, and she's temperamental, vintage, and frequently malfunctioning—basically, we're soulmates. The chalkboard menu has questionable spelling. The sign outside is hand-painted and slightly crooked. Everything smells like coffee and possibility, sounds like home, and looks like organized chaos. It's perfect. ## The Journey I grew up in an Independent Fundamental Baptist church, which is a very long way of saying I was taught that God was keeping score and I was losing. Badly. Skirt length mattered. Movie theaters were worldly. Dancing was suspicious. Fun was generally regarded as evidence of spiritual decline. I'm still unlearning a lot of that. **These days, I'm discovering something wild:** God actually likes me. Not just loves me in that obligatory, dutiful way—He genuinely enjoys my personality. My quirks aren't flaws He's patiently tolerating until He can fix me. They're features. Apparently, He has a sense of humor, and it's better than I was taught. The disasters that follow me everywhere? I'm learning they're not divine punishment or coded messages about my spiritual state. Sometimes broken things just mean broken. Sometimes spills are just spills. And sometimes God shows up right there in the mess—not after I've cleaned it up, but while the coffee's still dripping down the wall. ## What This Blog Is This is where I tell stories about running a coffee shop while catastrophically clumsy, socially awkward, and in recovery from religious perfectionism. You'll meet Walter (the wise regular who draws smiley faces in his coffee residue), Noah (the man of few words who leaves his cup outside my door), Grace (who comes every Thursday at 3 PM and stays exactly thirty minutes), and Patricia (who complains about everything but keeps showing up anyway). You'll hear about Betsy's various malfunctions, my ongoing battle with gravity, and the time Jennifer tried to "help" with Customer Appreciation Day and we're still finding glitter in the espresso. But mostly, you'll hear about how God keeps showing up in the ordinary chaos of coffee shop life. Through disasters and quiet moments. Through regulars who become family and strangers who say exactly what I need to hear. Through the smell of coffee at 5am and the sound of chairs going up on tables at closing time. > **Fun fact:** My former church warned against owning a "worldly business" like a coffee shop. Turns out, it might be the holiest place I've ever been. God's funny that way. ## What You'll Find Here Stories. Lots of stories. Some are hilarious disasters with maybe a one-line observation at the end. Some are touching encounters with customers that reveal something about God's character. Some are quiet, contemplative moments at closing time. Some are me processing old church trauma and discovering who God actually is versus who I was taught He was. I'm not here to teach you anything or give you five steps to a better life. I'm just here to tell you what happened today, and maybe—if we're lucky—we'll both notice God in it. ## Who This Is For Anyone who's ever felt like a disaster in a perfection-obsessed world. Anyone healing from religious trauma. Anyone who loves a good story and doesn't mind if it occasionally makes them think or cry. Coffee lovers. People tired of preachy Christian content. Those curious about God but turned off by church. Really, anyone who needs to know that God loves disasters—especially the coffee-spilling kind. **Here's what I'm learning:** If God can show up in my chaos—and He does, consistently, stubbornly, with what I'm starting to suspect is genuine delight—then He can show up anywhere. Including your life. Right where you are. Mess and all. ## The Promise You'll laugh. You might cry. You'll definitely want to know what I break next. The regulars will start to feel like your regulars too. Walter will say something wise. Betsy will malfunction at the worst possible moment. I'll trip over something that shouldn't be trippable. And somewhere in all the chaos, you might catch a glimpse of who God actually is. Not the scorekeeper I was taught about. The real One. The one who shows up in coffee shops, doesn't panic when we panic, and apparently thinks disasters make the best stories. So grab your coffee (I promise not to spill it—okay, I can't actually promise that), pull up a chair at the corner table, and let me tell you what happened today. --- ## A Note About These Stories **The Hot Mess, Rena LeeAnn, and all the characters who appear in these stories are fictional.** While the experiences shared—religious trauma, discovering God's grace, the chaos of everyday life—are drawn from real human experiences many people can relate to, the specific people, places, and events described are products of creative storytelling. Think of this like your favorite sitcom: the characters feel real, the emotions are genuine, and the truths discovered matter—but it's a story crafted to entertain, comfort, and reveal something true about God's character. If you're here because you've experienced legalistic religion, if you're healing from church hurt, if you feel like a disaster, or if you're curious about who God really is—these stories are for you. The fictional framework is simply the vehicle for exploring real struggles and real hope. --- *Still tripping. Still forgiven. Still showing up.* **— Rena LeeAnn** *Owner, The Hot Mess*